'It's a thrill to fulfil your own childhood dreams, but as you get older, you may find that enabling the dreams of others is even more fun.'
- Pg 117, Chapter 'Training a Jedi', The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch with Jeffrey Zaslow
Wow...what a line. Something that completely resonates with where I am in life. This is where all my personal growth activities, my chosen career path, and my very being seems to be leading me. Interestingly, when I first read the line, I stopped at the first comma...and then after a slight pause of wondering whether to get on with the blog (its past midnight) or just read through, something made me read it to the end. And wow, it completely changed the way I read the line!
Story of my life I think. I reach a place where I hit a pause. In that pause, when I take the opportunity to refrain from immediate action and actually take a moment of nothingness, the ensuing future - usually never the way I envisaged it - turns out to be so much more richer and fulfilling that anything I could have dreamed up! I remember a point where I thought my life was so much in control, along the lines I had planned it..everything falling into place. And then everything fell out of place, and churned, and kept churning, and still keeps churning. And it continues to create dissonance in me, who likes everything planned and in its place. And yet, the experiences that I've had, have taught me so much more, about life and even more about myself.
I used to think two steps ahead of where I was. While writing, I would know how the sentence would end and the next one start. I still do that...hey its me :) But at the same time, I also recognise that sometimes I don't have the words. And its okay to not have words. Like when I started this One Line A Day exercise, I told myself no backspaces, no deletions...just type what comes to mind. And yet at the end of the last paragraph, I tried out at least 4 different sentences to follow that last sentence...before deleting all of them.
Maybe thats the grace. The grace you give yourself not to be perfect, but to be in the moment. And when I am out of the trap of being perfect, I can be with myself, or be with the person in front of me... completely and wholly. Not as a solution provider, but as a listener. Not to fix things, but to support, to listen, to give them space to let it all out. Because most of the time, we are not looking for solutions. We are just looking for someone who cares.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Jan 17 - Line for the day
'He's going to die right here in the street ...'
- Page 171, The City of Joy, Dominique Lapierre
Wow..what a depressing line to pick up. Dying on the street sounds like such a lonely way to go. Public, but lonely. Or maybe thats just my fear of dying alone. Death comes to all...but to die alone freezes me up inside. Its probably selfish of me. Undoubtedly, death is probably harder on the living...or so I believe. And yet, dying alone must surely be the most tragic way to go.
...
...
...
Nothing else comes to mind. Just silence.
- Page 171, The City of Joy, Dominique Lapierre
Wow..what a depressing line to pick up. Dying on the street sounds like such a lonely way to go. Public, but lonely. Or maybe thats just my fear of dying alone. Death comes to all...but to die alone freezes me up inside. Its probably selfish of me. Undoubtedly, death is probably harder on the living...or so I believe. And yet, dying alone must surely be the most tragic way to go.
...
...
...
Nothing else comes to mind. Just silence.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Jan 16 - Line for the day
Today's line:
'He moved on to the sports pages, to find a photograph of an elegantly dressed Fred Perry ...'
- Pg 231, Only Time Will Tell, by Jeffrey Archer
The actual sentence is longer, but this part is what my eyes fell on. I wonder who Fred Perry is (no I haven't read this book yet.) Is it a character or an actual sportsperson? And why is he elegantly dressed in the sports pages? Sartorialism isn't what one expects from sports pages. You expect to see sweaty, dirty people in various poses of action, triumph or defeat. But hey, that prejudice isn't it. Undoubtedly, sports people have (or are supposed to have) physiques that should show the drape of the cloth beautifully. But is it just me who expects sports on the sports page, not fashion. Or is this just another instance of pigeon holing people based on perception.
For me, it is quite an eye opener. I consider myself fairly open minded. And yet, I'm pigeon holing people without even being aware of it, and then reacting from that position. And it probably is also my attitude about fashion. I don't understand it, I don't care about it. The only fashion I like watching are probably red carpet gowns. But the rest of fashion, bah...look at the models..none of that is ever going to fit me...so why bother. As for sports, well truth be told, I hardly read those newpaper pages anyway. Maybe today, I'll just pick up one for a change!
'He moved on to the sports pages, to find a photograph of an elegantly dressed Fred Perry ...'
- Pg 231, Only Time Will Tell, by Jeffrey Archer
The actual sentence is longer, but this part is what my eyes fell on. I wonder who Fred Perry is (no I haven't read this book yet.) Is it a character or an actual sportsperson? And why is he elegantly dressed in the sports pages? Sartorialism isn't what one expects from sports pages. You expect to see sweaty, dirty people in various poses of action, triumph or defeat. But hey, that prejudice isn't it. Undoubtedly, sports people have (or are supposed to have) physiques that should show the drape of the cloth beautifully. But is it just me who expects sports on the sports page, not fashion. Or is this just another instance of pigeon holing people based on perception.
For me, it is quite an eye opener. I consider myself fairly open minded. And yet, I'm pigeon holing people without even being aware of it, and then reacting from that position. And it probably is also my attitude about fashion. I don't understand it, I don't care about it. The only fashion I like watching are probably red carpet gowns. But the rest of fashion, bah...look at the models..none of that is ever going to fit me...so why bother. As for sports, well truth be told, I hardly read those newpaper pages anyway. Maybe today, I'll just pick up one for a change!
A line a day
Another new year, another resolution...though not new! Yet again, a resolution to write more...any kind of writing! So to start off, I plan to pick a random line out of a random book and write about it.
Today's line:
"Well, first of all its job is to persuade people to buy what you have to sell, and do it by being as glossy and seductive as possible and only telling people what you want them to know."
- Pg 93, The Salmon of Doubt, by Douglas Adams
The line is referring to a brochure. I had to read the line before it to understand what it was all about. Even then, I feel a bit stranded and at sea on the context. First thoughts, gosh I really need to read this book again. I remember reading it, and liking it...and usually I remember the general gist of the books I read (and like.) But this one ... nothing. Not even after reading the back cover synopsis (of course I would read that first!) All I got was a feeling of 'yep of course I've read it, but can't remember what was in it!'
A parallel thought was marketing?? My first line ends up a marketing line? How weird. Why exactly its weird I don't know. But the feeling is one of 'whoa...was not expecting that!'
The second thought doesn't lead me anywhere...but as I write this, I'm thinking I'm just sitting with the thought...is that my state of 'being'...am I finally getting the feel of that elusive state of 'just being'? Of course thinking about it destroys the state...much like Schrodinger's cat ... once you gain knowledge, you lose that suspended moment of 'being'.
As I digressed on being...and the thought of being, one part of my brain is jumping up and down saying, your first thought also led to more thoughts. Thoughts that were in my mind and ready to be typed even as I was typing the earlier paragraph. They were so clear then, but now seem nebulous bits of fluff. Here...I took a pause and leant my head on my arm to look at the laptop to actually sit and think about the thoughts that I sidelined. I'm sure they are rattling around in there somewhere. But I'm not sure why I need to stop and think about them, when I'm already in the flow and writing. Because in the end, writing is the goal isn't it. Not incoherent thoughts. Or misaligned paras. Or even lack of a central plot.
And all I feel now is wow...way to ramble! The line was on persuasion, glossiness and seduction, telling people what you want them to know. And maybe thats what we all are on the outside. The way people see us, the way we want them to see us and the way we see ourselves. But underneath that brochure, there is a morass of incoherent ramblings, random connections and just being. Our inner chaos. Always there, always suppressed by the need for rationale, purpose and result. As nonsense sounding as the Salmon of Doubt (really? what kind of name is that!), but then, every profound thought that deals with the randomness of existence, probably sounds like nonsense to a neat t's-crossed, i's-dotted brochure.
Today's line:
"Well, first of all its job is to persuade people to buy what you have to sell, and do it by being as glossy and seductive as possible and only telling people what you want them to know."
- Pg 93, The Salmon of Doubt, by Douglas Adams
The line is referring to a brochure. I had to read the line before it to understand what it was all about. Even then, I feel a bit stranded and at sea on the context. First thoughts, gosh I really need to read this book again. I remember reading it, and liking it...and usually I remember the general gist of the books I read (and like.) But this one ... nothing. Not even after reading the back cover synopsis (of course I would read that first!) All I got was a feeling of 'yep of course I've read it, but can't remember what was in it!'
A parallel thought was marketing?? My first line ends up a marketing line? How weird. Why exactly its weird I don't know. But the feeling is one of 'whoa...was not expecting that!'
The second thought doesn't lead me anywhere...but as I write this, I'm thinking I'm just sitting with the thought...is that my state of 'being'...am I finally getting the feel of that elusive state of 'just being'? Of course thinking about it destroys the state...much like Schrodinger's cat ... once you gain knowledge, you lose that suspended moment of 'being'.
As I digressed on being...and the thought of being, one part of my brain is jumping up and down saying, your first thought also led to more thoughts. Thoughts that were in my mind and ready to be typed even as I was typing the earlier paragraph. They were so clear then, but now seem nebulous bits of fluff. Here...I took a pause and leant my head on my arm to look at the laptop to actually sit and think about the thoughts that I sidelined. I'm sure they are rattling around in there somewhere. But I'm not sure why I need to stop and think about them, when I'm already in the flow and writing. Because in the end, writing is the goal isn't it. Not incoherent thoughts. Or misaligned paras. Or even lack of a central plot.
And all I feel now is wow...way to ramble! The line was on persuasion, glossiness and seduction, telling people what you want them to know. And maybe thats what we all are on the outside. The way people see us, the way we want them to see us and the way we see ourselves. But underneath that brochure, there is a morass of incoherent ramblings, random connections and just being. Our inner chaos. Always there, always suppressed by the need for rationale, purpose and result. As nonsense sounding as the Salmon of Doubt (really? what kind of name is that!), but then, every profound thought that deals with the randomness of existence, probably sounds like nonsense to a neat t's-crossed, i's-dotted brochure.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
El Lipsis completes me ...
Isn't it strange that a punctuation mark that is used to denote a pause or a temporary break, is actually my usual way of ending phrases. I wonder what that means? Does it mean I think only in part...or that I like to leave things open? Or maybe I haven't thought it all through...or theres more to come when I think of something substantial enough. Oh look! I've already used it twice in this paragraph without even thinking about it!
Maybe it makes us look smarter than we actually are - like i've kept some immensely intelligent or witty part...well secret. Oh I did it again! Or maybe not.
A pause in thought? So that the reader reads it exactly as I have thought it? Hmm...that makes sense (there it is again). So that we are on this literary ride together, hand-in-hand ... literally. Ha! A tool for comic timing! For those who can stomach bad puns anyway.
So much versatility in the hands of the writer. Easy. Free. Effective. Now if I could only remember what I set out to write about ...
Maybe it makes us look smarter than we actually are - like i've kept some immensely intelligent or witty part...well secret. Oh I did it again! Or maybe not.
A pause in thought? So that the reader reads it exactly as I have thought it? Hmm...that makes sense (there it is again). So that we are on this literary ride together, hand-in-hand ... literally. Ha! A tool for comic timing! For those who can stomach bad puns anyway.
So much versatility in the hands of the writer. Easy. Free. Effective. Now if I could only remember what I set out to write about ...
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Applying for passport...again!
Today we finally submitted Ishi's passport application along with hubby's passport renewal application. We applied for her passport on the basis of my currently valid passport, her birth certificate and a declaration from both parents. She needed to apply her right hand thumbprint in the signature space. We had to re-do the first page at the passport office, because her thumbprint was not valid (we had applied it twice as the first one was smeared, plus I had countersigned it, which I was not supposed to in this place). But I'm getting ahead of myself...
First, we needed to get the application together. Since hubby's passport had expired, we planned to do both applications together. 3 months went in deciding whether to do it directly or through a concierge. Then, around the end of June, hubby got a list of requirements from his concierge, and asked me to get the documents together. Then the whole process went on hold when in the first week of July, the newspapers reported the plan for a Passport Seva Kendra in Gurgaon, which would revolutionize (and shorten) the application process. However, a fortnight later, we were no closer to getting any information on when such a facility would be available and decided that we may as well go through the tried and tested route.
I was keen on going personally (with both hubby and Ishi) so that everyone was at hand to ensure the application went through smoothly. Hubby's initial preference was to get it done through his concierge, but subsequently agreed to do it himself. Today was chosen as D-day. We would be using my parent's place at Netaji Nagar as our base, since it is very close to the passport office. Initially, hubby planned to leave us there and proceed to CP office when done, but being a weekday, my preference was to come back. We discussed many options, taking both cars, taking my car and dropping hubby to the metro, staying back at Netaji Nagar, taking a cab/auto to home/office. In the end, hubby decided to come back and work from home, barring any major crisis at office.
The night before, we sat down, got all the papers in order (I had already filled in both application forms the week before), packed Ishi's bag and tried to sleep early. We weren't completely sure on how early to leave and queue up outside the office, then hubby suggested I look up my blog, where I had written about my passport application process two years back. Much to my surprise (and hubby's amusement) I had indeed written a fairly detailed account, with timings, that helped us quickly refresh what to expect. I also realized, that like last time, I didn't have a covering letter with the applications yet again! All in all, it was an illuminating read, and most importantly, allowed us an extra hour of sleep in the morning!
A thunderstorm kept Nero and me awake part of the night, but we were all up by 6am. Everyone got ready and we were out of the house by 7:45am. At Netaji Nagar well in time for breakfast and some quality time between Ishi and her Dida, with Ishi fascinated with her Dida's pendant (which she insisted on pulling continuously!). We left Leela and Ishi with Tuki to go queue up. Tuki would drive them down around 10am, when the passport office opened, just in time to get in. We queued up by 8:50am. There were already about a 100 people before us. Unlike last time, this time there was no separate token counter or double lines. Just one long queue, snaking around the building. And the wait begun.
Around 9:50 am, the line started moving and we called Tuki to bring over Ishi and Leela. They arrived as we were nearing the main gate, where Leela took Ishi in her pram towards a waiting area outside the building while we remained queued up for a token table outside the door. At the table, Ishi's form got rejected due to invalid signature. Luckily we had brought a blank copy of the application form, and re-did the first page.
Once inside, it was utterly chaotic. I was shocked to see the state, when just 2 years back, it had all looked so organized. The electronic counters were not working, people were willy nilly lining up in front of counters, lines were backing into each other and disappearing into a mass of people...in fact very typical of the Indian stereotype of some strange order in chaos. While it is not unusual, it was unexpected, because just 2 years back, I had seen the same office run in a far more orderly fashion. But then I thought, I had been in the passport lost/damaged section, which did indeed seem a bit more orderly..primarily because the crowd was smaller. Still...it felt a bit of a letdown.
Luckily, we managed to get into a queue that was only 7 people deep at that point, mostly because it didn't actually look like the end of a queue, but more a group of people milling about! The counter official was reasonably fast and we reached the counter without much trouble. Ishi was in her pram, playing energetically for a while, but when we were about 2 people from the counter, she started getting a bit cranky and fell asleep when hubby took her in his arms. At the counter, hubby struggled with trying to get her thumbprint on the application form, while she was fast asleep. He managed the feat, with a huge mark that when out of the signature box! Thankfully, the official okayed it. He checked our other documents, clucked a bit at hubby (because the only address proof he had was my passport - which the website said was acceptable, but the official said that it was seen only in the absence of other documents...well whatever!). After a few minutes of official perusal of our documents, they were deemed worthy and we got our receipts.
Since hubby has a change of address, his passport will take about 2.5 months. Ishi's passport should get done a bit sooner. However, both will go through proper police verification. Oh well! At least they are 'in process' now!!!
First, we needed to get the application together. Since hubby's passport had expired, we planned to do both applications together. 3 months went in deciding whether to do it directly or through a concierge. Then, around the end of June, hubby got a list of requirements from his concierge, and asked me to get the documents together. Then the whole process went on hold when in the first week of July, the newspapers reported the plan for a Passport Seva Kendra in Gurgaon, which would revolutionize (and shorten) the application process. However, a fortnight later, we were no closer to getting any information on when such a facility would be available and decided that we may as well go through the tried and tested route.
I was keen on going personally (with both hubby and Ishi) so that everyone was at hand to ensure the application went through smoothly. Hubby's initial preference was to get it done through his concierge, but subsequently agreed to do it himself. Today was chosen as D-day. We would be using my parent's place at Netaji Nagar as our base, since it is very close to the passport office. Initially, hubby planned to leave us there and proceed to CP office when done, but being a weekday, my preference was to come back. We discussed many options, taking both cars, taking my car and dropping hubby to the metro, staying back at Netaji Nagar, taking a cab/auto to home/office. In the end, hubby decided to come back and work from home, barring any major crisis at office.
The night before, we sat down, got all the papers in order (I had already filled in both application forms the week before), packed Ishi's bag and tried to sleep early. We weren't completely sure on how early to leave and queue up outside the office, then hubby suggested I look up my blog, where I had written about my passport application process two years back. Much to my surprise (and hubby's amusement) I had indeed written a fairly detailed account, with timings, that helped us quickly refresh what to expect. I also realized, that like last time, I didn't have a covering letter with the applications yet again! All in all, it was an illuminating read, and most importantly, allowed us an extra hour of sleep in the morning!
A thunderstorm kept Nero and me awake part of the night, but we were all up by 6am. Everyone got ready and we were out of the house by 7:45am. At Netaji Nagar well in time for breakfast and some quality time between Ishi and her Dida, with Ishi fascinated with her Dida's pendant (which she insisted on pulling continuously!). We left Leela and Ishi with Tuki to go queue up. Tuki would drive them down around 10am, when the passport office opened, just in time to get in. We queued up by 8:50am. There were already about a 100 people before us. Unlike last time, this time there was no separate token counter or double lines. Just one long queue, snaking around the building. And the wait begun.
Around 9:50 am, the line started moving and we called Tuki to bring over Ishi and Leela. They arrived as we were nearing the main gate, where Leela took Ishi in her pram towards a waiting area outside the building while we remained queued up for a token table outside the door. At the table, Ishi's form got rejected due to invalid signature. Luckily we had brought a blank copy of the application form, and re-did the first page.
Once inside, it was utterly chaotic. I was shocked to see the state, when just 2 years back, it had all looked so organized. The electronic counters were not working, people were willy nilly lining up in front of counters, lines were backing into each other and disappearing into a mass of people...in fact very typical of the Indian stereotype of some strange order in chaos. While it is not unusual, it was unexpected, because just 2 years back, I had seen the same office run in a far more orderly fashion. But then I thought, I had been in the passport lost/damaged section, which did indeed seem a bit more orderly..primarily because the crowd was smaller. Still...it felt a bit of a letdown.
Luckily, we managed to get into a queue that was only 7 people deep at that point, mostly because it didn't actually look like the end of a queue, but more a group of people milling about! The counter official was reasonably fast and we reached the counter without much trouble. Ishi was in her pram, playing energetically for a while, but when we were about 2 people from the counter, she started getting a bit cranky and fell asleep when hubby took her in his arms. At the counter, hubby struggled with trying to get her thumbprint on the application form, while she was fast asleep. He managed the feat, with a huge mark that when out of the signature box! Thankfully, the official okayed it. He checked our other documents, clucked a bit at hubby (because the only address proof he had was my passport - which the website said was acceptable, but the official said that it was seen only in the absence of other documents...well whatever!). After a few minutes of official perusal of our documents, they were deemed worthy and we got our receipts.
Since hubby has a change of address, his passport will take about 2.5 months. Ishi's passport should get done a bit sooner. However, both will go through proper police verification. Oh well! At least they are 'in process' now!!!
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